The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
