I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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