Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ttyl tear gas
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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