38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
