I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
