Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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