May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
