just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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