marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
