There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
