Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
