guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
