i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
