i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
