my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
