i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
