I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
