I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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