I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
