is your mom at the bar?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
