I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
