just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
