I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
