You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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