I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
