Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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