Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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