You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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