Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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