New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
