It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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