He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
