Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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