They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
either way he was missing a nipple.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
