I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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