i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
