I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
