U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
