I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
