RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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