Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
