shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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