Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
