If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
