I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
