Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
