she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
