the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
