Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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