Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
